Welcome to Trans-Scription

Hello blog-trotter, and welcome to my transition blog :))

Even though a multitude of blogs exist out there that deal with FTM transition, I write as an Indian, transitioning in India and dealing with Indian society, which can sometimes be very comforting, sometimes agonizingly interfering.

If this is your first visit, I suggest you start with the oldest post first - the walk-through I have slipped into the posts goes in that order and takes you through my life from toddlerhood to transition.

I also plan to include tutorials and discussions. I look to you, reader, for your opinion. If there is something you would like to share, questions you want answered or a comparison of situations, please let me know via the comments. I ask only that you do so with the understanding that I may choose not to answer - if I do so, it will certainly be for a good reason.


Monday, April 25, 2011

It's all just simple physics

Procrastination is really about inertia. When stationary, the procrastinator is loath to move; when in motion, finds it hard to stop. My appointment with the endocrinologist had that effect on me - this juggernaut had finally picked momentum - woe be unto anyone or anything that blocked my path!

10th March - Up at 6.00 and out at 8.00, I marched off to the pathology lab where I had made enquiries about my blood tests the previous day; I had been told to report on an empty stomach (12 hours fasting). I waited a long long time in queue and finally had my turn. I completed billing and waited some more till blood was drawn. Then, I darted off to the nearby hospital where I usually see my psychiatrist. After my endocrinologist visit, today was the first day he would be available for OPD consultation. I booked an appointment in 15 minutes - the doctor was to come in at 11.00 and I was 8th in queue to see him.  Raring to go and having nothing to do since it was only 9.30, I walked over to a friend's house and spilled my guts about the latest developments. We spent some time discussing what HRT would mean for me and reminiscing about 10 years ago when we each had a dream - hers, to act, and mine, of course, to transition; dreams we never thought we could achieve but knew we could not exist without somehow making happen. We both now found ourselves in places where we were starting to realize our precious, precious dreams. Time flew and, before I knew it, I was in danger of running late. I scampered!

Reaching the waiting area, I realized I was just about in time. Patient # 6 was in at the time. I awaited my turn as patiently as possible after the aerobic dash I'd made to the hospital.

My turn. By then I had managed to cool down and stop panting and sweating. I walked in, "Hi Doctor, how are you?"
Doctor, "Arre, kai re, kasa aahes tu? Yevda divsane?" (Marathi: Oh hey buddy! How are you? After so long?")
"Ho, Doctor, mi aaj concrete kaam karoon aalo." (Yes, Doctor, I've done some concrete work and come to you today.)
"Kai mhantos! Bol, kai challay?" (What are you saying! Tell me, what's going on?)

I gave him the entire update on how I had come into contact with Sampoorna right up to the endocrinologist visit two days ago. I told him in detail what transpired during the consultation and gave him the file to peruse. After reading through it, he whipped out his phone and spoke to someone, asked me when I was free next and, since I could not commit, simply informed the person on the other end of the line that he had an FTM who needed to 'get the usual tests done' to gauge readiness for medical transition. He wrote down their number in my file and left it to me to co-ordinate. Once I'd completed my evaluations and obtained the reports, I was to meet him again.

Coordinating availability and juggling a few commitments meant that I was only able to schedule the tests for the 15th of March. Doing the tests was such a colourful experience and I so badly want to share it here (I was laughing through half of it all - a very good experience); but I will have to restrict myself. Discussing the details here means that someone reading this blog will know what to expect with the tests. That means that they could potentially cheat on the tests, something that I want to prevent at any cost. Cheating on psychiatric/psychological evaluations simply because one wants their GID letter so desperately is not a good idea. Some of these tests are designed to ascertain whether the individual is in the right frame of mind to be able to handle the pressures associated with transition. I know it's frustrating, and I know it's demeaning. But trust me when I say that these guys (therapists) know what they are doing. And they don't get any sadistic pleasure in making anyone wait - they're just making you wait because they know how minds work. Come to think of it, that's their job, isn't it? Trust them. (Of course, if the therapist in question talks about changing your identity or any such nonsense, RUN!)

Three days later, I received a text message asking me to pick up my evaluation results. Needless to say, I did. The interpretations spanned two pages and indicated that I was mildly anxious but very much in contact with reality. Fine by me!

22nd March - My next appointment with my psychiatrist. He glanced over the results then looked up and said, "Nothing I couldn't have told you myself. But it had to be done." He called in a ward-boy and asked for the 'certificate book' and wrote me a certificate:

"This is to certify that ____ has been under my care for the past ____, has been examined by me on ____ and is diagnosed with ____." He filled these blanks with my name, 'three years' (we checked back in the file), the date and 'Gender Identity Disorder'. To this he added, 'The patient is of sound mind and capable of making decisions regarding and undergoing Gender Re-assignment'.

And that was it. One stamp from the hospital reception, the doctor's signature and I was armed! Whether anyone liked it or not, I was jumping off!

In my next post, read what my endocrinologist has to say.

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