Dark times

Leading up to the almost present.

Jan 2011 - I set up an appointment with the endocrinologist. I am all set and raring to go when another family emergency occurs - on the same day that I am scheduled to meet the endocrinologist. The state of emergency lasts for half the month. All else goes for a toss. With the situation finally under control, my focus shifts back to self. The recent coming to a head of events on a personal front spanning the past few years (nothing to do with anything I've shared so far), the lack of a steady job for the better part of a year (a visiting lecturer-ship doesn't really count) and the lack of any headway in my transition affects me so badly that I spend days at a time holed up in my room and don't step out except to bathe, use the facilities & raid the fridge - I even take all my meals in my room, but that is something I routinely do. This goes on for weeks and my closest friends (in touch with me all the time) and even my parents (with whom I live) haven't a clue as to how depressed I am. This is not due to any lack of understanding on their part, but to my knack for putting on a happy face.

Feb 2011 - The financial situation has really tightened - my whole focus shifts entirely to getting a job, a futile venture. Personally, I am dealing with things, conditioning myself to bounce back up like I always have. I haven't listened to music for a few months now; towards the end of Jan, I had cancelled on a musical night featuring the works of Jack Johnson, one of my all-time favourite artists, and only now know why.

early March 2011 -  No job yet. Time is flying by. I reason that I may as well see the endocrinologist - HRT isn't as expensive, and there's really no point waiting. I send him an email and am called for an appointment on the 8th. Still no music, but I am doing better. I anticipate that I will soon be my old self again. Fingers crossed for the appointment.

Next, a full-bodied article on the appointment, and what happens subsequently. Keep reading!